I've had enough... living for my own, I'm ready to love.
So you know those movies or books were in the end there is a great Dragon to slay that has been terrorizing all the people? Every one is under ground shaking with fear while the hero is bound to kill the beast. He knows he can't stay in safety and kill the dragon so he chooses to lay down his safety to deliver justice to his people. There is always a moment where the dragon is coming and the hero must really decide if he is going to "play it safe" and hope it's enough or if he is going to kiss his life good bye and do the only thing that will really bring that monster down. All the good heros chose the latter.
So I've had enough of living in cages... I've grown up with people who try to tell me that living in the cages is more biblical. That it is ok to box our selves in and "be safe". What? Do any of you really think that by worrying you can add one more day to your life? I did not see Jesus living in a cage, I saw him loving. I saw him slaying that dragon laying down his life! Do you not know that if you love him you will keep his commandments? "oh" you say "But I do! I have raised my children in the way they should go! They know all about constitutional law, can play any instrument under the sun. I've taught my sons and daughters to dress modestly. My girls don't want to work out side the home they want to be wives and mothers. My boys want to run their own business. They know the Bible and can defend their faith. Our family dresses in fine clothing and set an example for the believers in word and deed."
Those aren't the commandments I remember my Lord speaking. "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31
We do not know love, and do not follow our king because we like our cages. Our cages that we have painted like the out side world so that we can feel like we are really living. We for sure do not follow our King because he is up there slaying dragons and we might get hurt. Neither do we love our neighbor because he has blue hair and smells of pot and alcohol. We do not care for the widow and orphan because they are never seen around our cages. We do not give a cup of cold water because we might get dirty, if we step out of our safe zone. We shove a few dollars out the crack to ease our conscience but we do not really know love. Oh I'm sure your children could recite every verse on love to me but they do not know love. They sit pale and stagnant on their keys in their cages, while love is slaying dragons. Their eyes are void.
Do you know the Dragons that need slaying? Have you seen them? I have. I've seen poverty cruel jokes on the weak. I've seen oppressions lust for blood. One dragon I know you know is fear because other wise you would not have built your cages. Hate is a slithery one but I think you have met him because the gay man at your work feels rejected. There are sooo many more dragons to slay and I'm going to die any way. I'm not going to waist the last few days of my life "safe in a cage" I'm going to follow my King. I'm leaving behind health and safety for dirt, injury and yes I'll be killed, but I will know love. Love that is...
"... patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
We are going to die anyway. Let's not hold on to comfort and safety in vain, let us lay our lives down and go slay those dragons that need killing.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Will we love the way we have been loved?
Galatians 3:3 (New International Reader's Version) "3 Are you so foolish? You began with the Holy Spirit. Are you now trying to complete God's work in you by your own strength? "
I think if Paul were here now he could say the same to "us homeschoolers".
Oh you foolish homeschoolers, are you now trying to finish in the flesh that which was begun by the Spirit?
How many of us have bought in to the lie that we can "do it better", or that we are "doing it better" and then looked down our noses at those who are not "doing it good enough" whatever it might be. This greaves my heart.... HAVE WE FORGOT!?!?!?!?! We were once sinners, and Christ redeemed us!!!! WE CAN NOT ADD TO OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS!!!! That means... if a girl loves God and feels lead to go to collage and pursue a career she can and is no less right standing be for God then a girl who chooses to stay home. It also means that a family who loves God and sends their kids to school outside of the home is no less right before God then a family who homeschools. Also it means that a church that loves God and wants to serve Him who has woman in some leadership roles in no less right before God then a church with all men leadership.
We have to keep in mind what our priorities are... We first and foremost HAVE to love our God with all that we are. That means we have to look inward and be brutally honest and if we are not loving Him with all that we are then we need to drop everything else until we get that one right. When our hearts are fully given to Him, HE will turn our hearts to loving our neighbor and will enable us to first show them God's love, wherever they are at at that time regardless of us agreeing with them or not. Love does not have to be right. Jesus was right but laid it down for our sake because He loved us. We are called to the same kind of love. We will fail miserably if we try on our own. It must come out of our love for Him.
He has freely given us fierce mercy, will we not give the same to our brothers and sisters who are broken humans right along next to us?
I think if Paul were here now he could say the same to "us homeschoolers".
Oh you foolish homeschoolers, are you now trying to finish in the flesh that which was begun by the Spirit?
How many of us have bought in to the lie that we can "do it better", or that we are "doing it better" and then looked down our noses at those who are not "doing it good enough" whatever it might be. This greaves my heart.... HAVE WE FORGOT!?!?!?!?! We were once sinners, and Christ redeemed us!!!! WE CAN NOT ADD TO OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS!!!! That means... if a girl loves God and feels lead to go to collage and pursue a career she can and is no less right standing be for God then a girl who chooses to stay home. It also means that a family who loves God and sends their kids to school outside of the home is no less right before God then a family who homeschools. Also it means that a church that loves God and wants to serve Him who has woman in some leadership roles in no less right before God then a church with all men leadership.
We have to keep in mind what our priorities are... We first and foremost HAVE to love our God with all that we are. That means we have to look inward and be brutally honest and if we are not loving Him with all that we are then we need to drop everything else until we get that one right. When our hearts are fully given to Him, HE will turn our hearts to loving our neighbor and will enable us to first show them God's love, wherever they are at at that time regardless of us agreeing with them or not. Love does not have to be right. Jesus was right but laid it down for our sake because He loved us. We are called to the same kind of love. We will fail miserably if we try on our own. It must come out of our love for Him.
He has freely given us fierce mercy, will we not give the same to our brothers and sisters who are broken humans right along next to us?
Inner Healing Part 3
Ok so now to the Date vs. Court issue....
Let me say right off... I Have been a Court'n fan my whole life and still am. I am one of the only girls I know who has not read "I kissed Dating Good Bye" but I have listened to my far share of teachers on the subject and read all Ludy books. I totally jumped on the courtship band wagon back when I was 15 and have been on it ever since. However I have been noticing some unhealthy trends on this band wagon. 1st in the line up, is a feeling that it is ok to feel justified in being self righteous. We "Courters" know we are more right, do it better and love God more then all those wicked "daters". Although most of us would never say that I've seen it come out from just about every one I know who "Courts" including my self. 2nd is that we begin to separate our selves form those who aren't doing it good enough, (aka Dating). Growing up I have seen a few (not a lot because I have always hung out with the more right "courters") relationships where the couple dated loved the Lord followed His leading and have an awesome marriage.(shocking I know) We are missing out on seeing God do stuff because once again we are to worried about following all the right rules then we are about following our King. 3rd We are obsessed with eliminating risk. New Flash "God created risk!" In the Garden at the beginning of time God allowed risk to be set before Adam and Eve.
Now I totally agree with what I would assume are the universal, across the board undisputable principles of modern courtship:
1. The motive of courtship is to find a spouse. It's not just for fun.
2. The man initiates.
3. Commitment precedes intimacy.
We have taken these principles and tried to define them with rules of which we all have our different set. That is just what the Pharisees and Sadducees did with the law, and in so doing missed the heart of God. We are first and foremost called to love our God with all that we are. We are called to live in relationship with Him and through our relationship with Him He guides us and directs us. I have come to a place were I feel free to go against the norm of homeschool courtship and follow were My King may lead. If tomorrow I met a godly young man in whom I see maturity and a love for the Lord above all else in his life, and he just so happens to ask me out on a date/out for coffee I would say yes. I would keep those three principles in mind and watch to see if that is were his heart is as well. Now would I like it if He talked to my Dad first? Absolutely!! But I'm not going to put him or God in a box. He may not have been raised the same way I was. If he is a man of godly character I don't want to write him off just because he didn't follow the traditions I grew up with. At 15 I would have written him off as not good enough and been very guilty of a great sin against my brother.
I've decided it's time for me to grow up and realize I don't have it all figured out. God often likes to bust our boxes and I want to be open to Him if my box needs to be busted. I have freedom in Christ to follow Him and leave behind traditions of men. (and boy it feels good!)
Let me say right off... I Have been a Court'n fan my whole life and still am. I am one of the only girls I know who has not read "I kissed Dating Good Bye" but I have listened to my far share of teachers on the subject and read all Ludy books. I totally jumped on the courtship band wagon back when I was 15 and have been on it ever since. However I have been noticing some unhealthy trends on this band wagon. 1st in the line up, is a feeling that it is ok to feel justified in being self righteous. We "Courters" know we are more right, do it better and love God more then all those wicked "daters". Although most of us would never say that I've seen it come out from just about every one I know who "Courts" including my self. 2nd is that we begin to separate our selves form those who aren't doing it good enough, (aka Dating). Growing up I have seen a few (not a lot because I have always hung out with the more right "courters") relationships where the couple dated loved the Lord followed His leading and have an awesome marriage.(shocking I know) We are missing out on seeing God do stuff because once again we are to worried about following all the right rules then we are about following our King. 3rd We are obsessed with eliminating risk. New Flash "God created risk!" In the Garden at the beginning of time God allowed risk to be set before Adam and Eve.
Now I totally agree with what I would assume are the universal, across the board undisputable principles of modern courtship:
1. The motive of courtship is to find a spouse. It's not just for fun.
2. The man initiates.
3. Commitment precedes intimacy.
We have taken these principles and tried to define them with rules of which we all have our different set. That is just what the Pharisees and Sadducees did with the law, and in so doing missed the heart of God. We are first and foremost called to love our God with all that we are. We are called to live in relationship with Him and through our relationship with Him He guides us and directs us. I have come to a place were I feel free to go against the norm of homeschool courtship and follow were My King may lead. If tomorrow I met a godly young man in whom I see maturity and a love for the Lord above all else in his life, and he just so happens to ask me out on a date/out for coffee I would say yes. I would keep those three principles in mind and watch to see if that is were his heart is as well. Now would I like it if He talked to my Dad first? Absolutely!! But I'm not going to put him or God in a box. He may not have been raised the same way I was. If he is a man of godly character I don't want to write him off just because he didn't follow the traditions I grew up with. At 15 I would have written him off as not good enough and been very guilty of a great sin against my brother.
I've decided it's time for me to grow up and realize I don't have it all figured out. God often likes to bust our boxes and I want to be open to Him if my box needs to be busted. I have freedom in Christ to follow Him and leave behind traditions of men. (and boy it feels good!)
I'm a Midwife
I'm a midwife student at the moment but I will one day be a Certified Professional Midwife. Registered in North America and have a license to practice home birth. The Lord has already made it very clear to me though that I am a midwife. I am called there for I am. I have been made, set up, fashioned and set on earth for this purpose. Midwives walk with woman through thick and thin, life and death.
Today I went to a funeral service for a baby that was born to one of our clients with severe Ebstein's Anomaly. A congenital heart defect that caused death 9 hours after birth. I was amazed as I watched the family greave but at the same time rejoice and be thankful for the time they had with their sweet baby girl. No hint of bitterness was ever seen. They loved their God too much to be bitter or angry at Him.
This is my calling... To be a Midwife. I'm trusted with the most sacred:' Life'. My hands were made to touch, guide and protect life. In this world I will also see and touch death, but I do not fear death.
Where is your sting death? Were is your hurt? You have lost your power, I fear you no more. I was made to be a Midwife.
Today I went to a funeral service for a baby that was born to one of our clients with severe Ebstein's Anomaly. A congenital heart defect that caused death 9 hours after birth. I was amazed as I watched the family greave but at the same time rejoice and be thankful for the time they had with their sweet baby girl. No hint of bitterness was ever seen. They loved their God too much to be bitter or angry at Him.
This is my calling... To be a Midwife. I'm trusted with the most sacred:' Life'. My hands were made to touch, guide and protect life. In this world I will also see and touch death, but I do not fear death.
Where is your sting death? Were is your hurt? You have lost your power, I fear you no more. I was made to be a Midwife.
Inner Healing Part 2
This past December my brother and I went to Kansas City to attend IHOP's Onething conference. I admit I was a little nervous and on guard not knowing what all these crazy people were up to with all this "awakening" stuff going on. All I knew was that I loved Misty Edwards worship CD's and that I wanted to get always to be able to just focus on the Lord. As a Pastors Kid of a family integrated church that is all homeschoolers I was use to different kinds of events. I got there the first day I loved it!!! Worship was awesome I could dance if I wanted to, I felt so free. The second day my "homeschooler mind" turned on "Wait a minuet." I thought, " They are having a separate services for the Kids... can God still work and move here?" "They are letting woman lead worship and even share from there lives what they have seen God do. They aren't all wearing dresses. Can God still work here?" I found the answer to be a resounding YES! In fact God worked in me of all people, the perfect homeschooler who had it all together. I realized while I was there that I did a lot of what I did because I feared man. I subjected my self to carry a burden I was not meant to bare. I feared what people would say about me. I knew God was calling me in to missions and midwifery and I had submitted it to my parents and they agreed and fully supported me but I was scared to tell people I was going over sees because I would get all the "but your not going to be under your Fathers covering!" comments. (nobody asked my Dad if I was going with his blessing or not, they just assume I didn't have it) So I kept it to my self for a long time. I didn't dress the way I liked because I was afraid I would get the turned up noses form homescool moms and daughter. (I don't like dressing normal it's boring ) So while I'm trying to make sense of all this sitting at Onething the Lord opened my eyes. I began to see that although these people didn't have their kids in with them, and they dressed different then most people I know and that although woman were leading worship and sharing, they had one thing right. They LOVE HIM. Just for who He is. They are content to sit for hours and hours and days and days at His feet, just because. The songs they wrote reflected love so deep, passionate and pure that the love I offered paled. I also saw again and again that they were given fully to the Lord. They really would and have done anything He has asked of them. With joy and gladness, not because they mustered up enough strength on their own but because they were truly in love with Him and nothing was to great for Him to ask. I also saw that the Lord is using them in ways I know He wants to use us. I got the strange feeling that we missed His voice because we were listening to our favorite homeschool teachers instead of Him.
The Lord is doing things in this earth. He is bringing down abortion. His is redeeming people from every people. The nations are coming to Him in droves. He is setting the captives free. He is freeing young girls from prostitution. He is setting Men free from addictions. He is healing hearts that have not wanted to live. And we are missing it because we care more about whether girls should go to collage or not then we care about the lost and dying. We are afraid to get our hands dirty and serve the homeless and the prostitutes. We worry more about our lives, our families, our houses, getting our lives perfect then we care about laying down our lives for our brother(who just might have blue hair and dress in black. You can love Jesus and have blue hair your whole life.) It is for Freedom that He set us free!!! The leaven of the Pharisees has gotten us good and we don't even see it. I for one am ready to leave it all behind. I'm ready to turn my ear from other teachers and listen to my King first and foremost. I'm ready to get my hands dirty and live with people the way Jesus did. I'm ready to look homosexuals and the eye and see a lost soul that my Lord loves. I'm ready to pray hard. I'm ready to fight for the lives of the unborn, and I want to fight with my fellow homeschoolers. Please come with me.
The Lord is doing things in this earth. He is bringing down abortion. His is redeeming people from every people. The nations are coming to Him in droves. He is setting the captives free. He is freeing young girls from prostitution. He is setting Men free from addictions. He is healing hearts that have not wanted to live. And we are missing it because we care more about whether girls should go to collage or not then we care about the lost and dying. We are afraid to get our hands dirty and serve the homeless and the prostitutes. We worry more about our lives, our families, our houses, getting our lives perfect then we care about laying down our lives for our brother(who just might have blue hair and dress in black. You can love Jesus and have blue hair your whole life.) It is for Freedom that He set us free!!! The leaven of the Pharisees has gotten us good and we don't even see it. I for one am ready to leave it all behind. I'm ready to turn my ear from other teachers and listen to my King first and foremost. I'm ready to get my hands dirty and live with people the way Jesus did. I'm ready to look homosexuals and the eye and see a lost soul that my Lord loves. I'm ready to pray hard. I'm ready to fight for the lives of the unborn, and I want to fight with my fellow homeschoolers. Please come with me.
Take a moment...
Take a moment right now to look at your finger tips and maybe you toes too. Marvel at the fact that they work, that you heart and lungs began to work that moment you were born, that your tinny little heart and lungs that had never tired using air before tired their first try when you were born and did it! They worked just right... maybe they needed a little help but they did it and have been doing it ever since. When Babies are born with defects that cause them to die shortly after birth we often ask "Why God? Why did you let this happen?" Yet we take for granted all the times it doesn't happen. We forget that it didn't happen to us. We forget that we work perfectly. In a fallen world things just don't always work, and that it is a miracle that it does work as often as it does. So take a breath and watch all that oxygen get to all the way out to your fingers and Thank God that you work.
Inner healing Part 1
So I was homeschooled right? So I am of the first generation of guinea pigs. I am the first born and so I am a double guinea pig. All you first borns know what I'm talking about. As I said before I loved being home schooled and wouldn't change it for anything. But... being homeschooled has dealt it's blows. I am just now coming to a place in life were I KNOW that I KNOW that I am free in Christ.
When I use to hear people say we are free in Christ my mind use to go strait to "well yeah but....we have to still do this or that or He won't really be pleased with us..." I finding that to be FALSE!!!!!!!!!!!! Now hear me out... Our Lord approves of us fully if we are in Christ. Under His blood we are completely approved of. If we could not earn His approval before while we were sinner what makes us think we could earn any more now????? BUT!! (my homeschooler mind use to say) God really isn't pleased with us if we don't wear skirts all the time. BUT...God wouldn't approve if we sent our kids to public school. BUT...God doesn't like it when we date and don't court. BUT... God would be disappointed in us if didn't go to a family integrated church. BUT... many more things.... and many more "BUTS" I am coming to see in many areas in life we have become just like the Pharisees. We have held our rules above His. Jesus said so clearly, the greatest commandment is to LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart all you soul and with all your mind. And if we love Him we will keep HIS commandment (not ours) His commandments are to FIRST and FOR MOST love Him then all the other commandments will come out of us FIRST LOVING HIM... what are the commandments that are top on the list? Love others, take care of the widow and orphan, preach the gospel. If we are dressing a certain way, following certain traditions of men, if we have more teachings of "homeschool leaders" in our minds then the words of OUR GOD, then we are not truly living a Christian life and should question if we really truly know our Savior. Under HIS blood we are totally and completely approved of and we can not change that!!! Hard stuff I know but I have a news flash for all of us "WE ARE THE GROWN UPS NOW" The way our parents raised us needs to be brought in to question and see if it lines up ALL THE WAY with Scripture. If not we need to make some changes, while being careful to not throw the baby out with the bath water.
Those are my thought for now, more will follow.
When I use to hear people say we are free in Christ my mind use to go strait to "well yeah but....we have to still do this or that or He won't really be pleased with us..." I finding that to be FALSE!!!!!!!!!!!! Now hear me out... Our Lord approves of us fully if we are in Christ. Under His blood we are completely approved of. If we could not earn His approval before while we were sinner what makes us think we could earn any more now????? BUT!! (my homeschooler mind use to say) God really isn't pleased with us if we don't wear skirts all the time. BUT...God wouldn't approve if we sent our kids to public school. BUT...God doesn't like it when we date and don't court. BUT... God would be disappointed in us if didn't go to a family integrated church. BUT... many more things.... and many more "BUTS" I am coming to see in many areas in life we have become just like the Pharisees. We have held our rules above His. Jesus said so clearly, the greatest commandment is to LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart all you soul and with all your mind. And if we love Him we will keep HIS commandment (not ours) His commandments are to FIRST and FOR MOST love Him then all the other commandments will come out of us FIRST LOVING HIM... what are the commandments that are top on the list? Love others, take care of the widow and orphan, preach the gospel. If we are dressing a certain way, following certain traditions of men, if we have more teachings of "homeschool leaders" in our minds then the words of OUR GOD, then we are not truly living a Christian life and should question if we really truly know our Savior. Under HIS blood we are totally and completely approved of and we can not change that!!! Hard stuff I know but I have a news flash for all of us "WE ARE THE GROWN UPS NOW" The way our parents raised us needs to be brought in to question and see if it lines up ALL THE WAY with Scripture. If not we need to make some changes, while being careful to not throw the baby out with the bath water.
Those are my thought for now, more will follow.
Coming soon: Inner healing I needed from growing up in the homeschool movement
Here is a preview: Let me say right out clear, first and formost. I LOVED BEING HOMESCHOOLED!!!! LOVED IT!! and I do plan on homeschooling ALL of my kids ALL the way through.(you won't catch me throwing my babies to the wolves) I have just come to see and been healed of alot of baggage and hurt I have recived from growing up in the homeschool movement. After talking with some of my freinds who were also homeschooled I have come to see I'm not the only one...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)