Inner Healing Part 2

This past December my brother and I went to Kansas City to attend IHOP's Onething conference. I admit I was a little nervous and on guard not knowing what all these crazy people were up to with all this "awakening" stuff going on. All I knew was that I loved Misty Edwards worship CD's and that I wanted to get always to be able to just focus on the Lord. As a Pastors Kid of a family integrated church that is all homeschoolers I was use to different kinds of events. I got there the first day I loved it!!! Worship was awesome I could dance if I wanted to, I felt so free. The second day my "homeschooler mind" turned on "Wait a minuet." I thought, " They are having a separate services for the Kids... can God still work and move here?" "They are letting woman lead worship and even share from there lives what they have seen God do. They aren't all wearing dresses. Can God still work here?" I found the answer to be a resounding YES! In fact God worked in me of all people, the perfect homeschooler who had it all together. I realized while I was there that I did a lot of what I did because I feared man. I subjected my self to carry a burden I was not meant to bare. I feared what people would say about me. I knew God was calling me in to missions and midwifery and I had submitted it to my parents and they agreed and fully supported me but I was scared to tell people I was going over sees because I would get all the "but your not going to be under your Fathers covering!" comments. (nobody asked my Dad if I was going with his blessing or not, they just assume I didn't have it) So I kept it to my self for a long time. I didn't dress the way I liked because I was afraid I would get the turned up noses form homescool moms and daughter. (I don't like dressing normal it's boring ) So while I'm trying to make sense of all this sitting at Onething the Lord opened my eyes. I began to see that although these people didn't have their kids in with them, and they dressed different then most people I know and that although woman were leading worship and sharing, they had one thing right. They LOVE HIM. Just for who He is. They are content to sit for hours and hours and days and days at His feet, just because. The songs they wrote reflected love so deep, passionate and pure that the love I offered paled. I also saw again and again that they were given fully to the Lord. They really would and have done anything He has asked of them. With joy and gladness, not because they mustered up enough strength on their own but because they were truly in love with Him and nothing was to great for Him to ask. I also saw that the Lord is using them in ways I know He wants to use us. I got the strange feeling that we missed His voice because we were listening to our favorite homeschool teachers instead of Him.

The Lord is doing things in this earth. He is bringing down abortion. His is redeeming people from every people. The nations are coming to Him in droves. He is setting the captives free. He is freeing young girls from prostitution. He is setting Men free from addictions. He is healing hearts that have not wanted to live. And we are missing it because we care more about whether girls should go to collage or not then we care about the lost and dying. We are afraid to get our hands dirty and serve the homeless and the prostitutes. We worry more about our lives, our families, our houses, getting our lives perfect then we care about laying down our lives for our brother(who just might have blue hair and dress in black. You can love Jesus and have blue hair your whole life.) It is for Freedom that He set us free!!! The leaven of the Pharisees has gotten us good and we don't even see it. I for one am ready to leave it all behind. I'm ready to turn my ear from other teachers and listen to my King first and foremost. I'm ready to get my hands dirty and live with people the way Jesus did. I'm ready to look homosexuals and the eye and see a lost soul that my Lord loves. I'm ready to pray hard. I'm ready to fight for the lives of the unborn, and I want to fight with my fellow homeschoolers. Please come with me.