Let me at 'em!!

So I'm young right? 22 almost 23. I'm still learning allot about my self. I feel God keeps opening my understanding to how he weaved me together. I'm becoming more aware of my weakness and more confident in my strengths.
Lately I have been seeing the "fighter" in me come out more. I don't know if it has come out enough for others to see but I think it will soon. I have always been one who defaults to the extreme, I just do. That is not always a good thing and the Lord has been teaching me where that is unhealthy. Balance in many areas is necessary, I have been learning what those areas are, and still have much to learn I'm sure.

After the last few births I've attended I feel the Lord reaffirming me in my calling. "Yes Shannon this is what I made you to do. It's ok to walk in it." After years of waiting and watching doors close and God say "not yet" I very cautiously dipped my big toe in to midwifery looking to God expecting Him to say "not yet kid" and have to pull back yet again. This time though He said "yes" so I took one step still expecting Him to say "ok that's enough for now I'm closing the door again" but He didn't, He told me to take another step, and another, and another. I can't tell you how good it feels to be able to obey doing something I love!!! Waiting can be hard but it is so worth it!

Last night I (actually God) started connecting dots. I felt God saying "you know that, all or nothing, go big or go home, reach for the stars, fight and conquer, thing I put in you? This (birth) is what I made that part of you for. That part of you that burns with passion for life. The part of you that has the audacity to look death in the face and say "Back off! This one's MINE!" I made that for such a time as this."

It is true that our strength can also be our weakness. My default to the extreme is truly my greatest weakness at times, but that is what refinement is for. When God tells us He wants to make us more in to the image of His Son He doesn't have to start over. He made us with allot of raw material that He is just waiting for us to surrender and get out of the way so He can clean off and polish to a shine (that reflects our totally awesome King of course!!).

It is true that my King has said no to me many times and closed many doors but my heart rests in the knowledge that He is good, and always will be!