Not Married

"The more your father and I learn the more we believe that you being on the mission field will be with your husband"

I squirmed at these words when I was 14, dreaming of the work my King had called me to. These words seemed to take all the fun out of it. Who wanted to wait until they were married to save the world? I sure didn't, but mom said it so it must be true. I did want to do the right thing. So that was that. I was going to have to wait until I was married until I could go to the field.

"Why doesn't that guy show up?! I have a lot to do! The world is waiting and my King told me to go!! If I have to wait for a man I better not have to wait very long. I know, God must want me to marry young. Well that didn't work out. I must not be ready. Gosh, I'm still not ready? I know for a fact that I'm more mature then that girl and she is getting married. It's been 10 years since I knew the call. Why hasn't that guy shown up yet? At this rate I'll never make it to the mission field. Or worse yet I'll get to impatient and marry some one who appears to be all ready to go but turns out to be a couch potato. I don't know any real missions minded men anyway. They are all married or on the field, cause they don't have to wait for a godly head before they can go. That's really not fair. God why don't you tell them to take wives first!?"

Many more times my mom would say things to me like "Now Shannon before you get all set on marrying a missionary you should remember your first calling is to be a wife and mom. Maybe God just wants you to marry a man with good character and doesn't know anything about missions. You might have to settle for a guy who is open to missions." I tried arguing but it was no use. It's not easy to beat mom when you are 16 and really don't want to be disrespectful. (note, God is good and both my parents are in full support of this venture. I'm not the only one He talks to around here)

Everything in me revolted at the idea that I've been waiting this whole time to marry a man so I could go and now I may have to settle for some one who was only "open" to the idea? I lived and breathed this stuff!! While other girls dream of a home of their own I dream of fighting on the front line. I dream of taking back the strong holds of the enemy. My fight was growing antsy having to wait. I'm a goer and fighter.

In less then 2 weeks I'm moving to Asia by my self. No I'm not married. No I'm not going with my Dad. Yes I'm going long term. Do you know why? Because my King said to. That's right My King whom I was suppose to marry before I go to please, lined every thing up super naturally for me at this time and spoke to me saying "It's time girl I'm taking you with me and we are going." "For how long Lord? Surely you don't want me to go for very long I'm not married." "Shannon did you hear me? I said it's time! Remember I said and you've been waiting. I know you aren't married. I want you now as you are. You don't need to do anything before you can follow me. It's ok I'm saying you can go now. No more waiting. I'm not hindered by your singleness. I have work for you now. Come on it's ok with me. Let's go!" "Really? It's ok with you that I'm not married? You want to use me all by myself? I'm enough as I am?" "I will be your Protecter and Provider, come on it's ok this is My mission and I want you now. Let's go!" "ok then if you say so... when should I tell them I'm coming back?" "Ah I'm not going to tell you until it's time." "What? This is to good to be true!! No returen date? Every one will know how crazy I am then. I won't be able to contain my excitment. NO RETURN TICKET?!?!? Surely this isn't right I must be hearing you wrong Lord. I'm not married remember? I'm only half of what I should be." " No Shannon you are just what I've made you to be. I've been getting you ready. I want to be your all and I want you to know that I don't need you to be married. I'm going to use you now."

About then is when I fell on my face. To over come with gratitude, love, peace, relief and excitement to say anymore. I wept and said over and over, "My God you're so good to me! So good to me!! My God you're so good to me!!! My God, My God thank you! Thank you!"

So I'm going to Asia without a return ticket. I keep pinching my self. This is to good to be true. I don't need to be married to be used by my God, I don't have to be married to answer His call. I'm ok just the way I am.

So I'll see ya'll I'm headed off the other side of the world with my King and only my King. I'm not afraid to let him be my all now. He doesn't care that I'm not married. I'm ok. This is ok. He is so good to me. Always faithful. He can not lie! His ways are not our ways. I can't wait to see what He does!!
(Besides what would I do with a husband? Pack Him in my suit case? Then what? Not sure... good thing I don't have one yet! )

Brothers and Sister, He is enough. Let Him take you as you are.