What shall I do?

As one who was groomed to be a fashioned one of religion.
I was shaped with words that claimed to be truth.
My world was one made of human hands and one that fell apart.
Now I find my self in reality and my former world of religion has no power.
Hold on to my God yes, but what else?
Truth as I believed it to be was not
Now how do I know?

I want to live in a real world.
I don’t want to be a wonderer without a home any more.
What I live and what I do must from now on be real.
I can’t live in a dream any more.
If reality can’t be changed by truth, then it’s a “truth” I refuse to believe.

Real life and real dreams and real people.
This will be my anthem
Real.
If it’s not real and can not change real life I can not embrace it.
Father forgive me if this is wicked. I’m tired of living in a dream land.
I need reality. I can not be removed from real life any more. I must know how to relate to real people in a real way they can see, hear, know, feel and touch. Please don’t ask me to believe in good ideas anymore. I need only what is real. You are the God of reality teach me what is real and what is not. I can’t be a “Christian” any more. not until I can be a real Christian.


What happens when you crave reality but all you have been feed is illusion?

Until I know what is real all else will have to wait.